The Freedom of Middle Age

Just before the prime of life, when a man or woman is working most efficiently and meeting the demands of life most successfully, it is true in a paradoxical way that he is least free. One's life is "cut out" for him at such a time, by the multitude of expectations which make up the roles of worker, parent, spouse, homemaker, citizen, church member, and association member. One's very success in these roles is a measure of the demands they make upon him. He has little freedom.

When the roles become less demanding, at the turning point of maturity, one has, for the first time since childhood, a real freedom to dispose of his time, to choose what he will do and will not do. One has a chance to redesign his life, to take up new roles and to alter old ones. The prize for the new design of life is happiness for another 25 or 30 years.

It is exhausting and even painful for a man or woman to try to hold on to the old roles and to live on in them when new and younger aspirants are pushing in to take them up. It is even more of a tragedy for a man or woman to give up the rewarding roles of the 40's and take nothing in their place, drawing into himself and getting less from, and giving less to, the world around him.

There is no need for people to live such a tragic life after the age of 50. There is no need for them to wear themselves out trying to live as if they were 40.

People can be happy and free and young in spirit in their middle age and for a long time afterward if they do some personal stocktaking and planning for this period of their lives.

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